My fans keep asking me why I didn’t mention my goddess Palki again. They say that’s the content they love watching the most. Every single day my goddess changes into countless beautiful outfits, but the one thing she refuses to change is her completely rusted brain. Over all these years she has become addicted to lying and bragging so much that she can no longer tell lies apart from reality. Every morning she looks in the mirror and asks, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” and the answer is always “Palki is the fairest.” Actually, most Indians are exactly the same. Every day they ask themselves, “Who will be the next superpower?” and the answer is always “The Great Bharat Cowdung Empire.”
My SSD turned into a small brick yesterday, so I have several videos I wanted to make but never found the time. After I finally set up my backup machine, the very first video I decided to make was, of course, about Palki. Yes, the moment I opened YouTube, the homepage recommended a video claiming India is going to become the global shipping center and a heavyweight shipbuilding superpower. My goddess Palki was the anchor, and she gave plenty of reasons. India spends 75 billion dollars every year buying all kinds of ships, so domestic demand is huge. India has a strong defense industry that built the aircraft carrier Vikrant. Indian talent is abundant and government investment is massive. Most importantly, China is currently the world’s number-one shipbuilding nation, and the Bharat Empire has to compete with China in every single field.
Of course Palki also had to admit that right now China controls more than half of the global shipbuilding market while India has 0.06 percent. It is exactly like me having 2000 dollars in my bank account while Elon Musk has 200 billion, and I announce a detailed plan to surpass him. I have strong determination after all. I watch Palki’s videos every day to get unlimited energy, and when I feel sleepy I just eat one big spoonful of Indian curry and instantly become wide awake again.
To be honest, I have roasted Indian shipbuilding many times before. The Cochin Shipyard has produced countless jokes, and the biggest industrial joke in human history, the aircraft carrier Vikrant, is their masterpiece. It was launched three times, got baptized in sewage, and on its very first sea trial it experienced severe pitching that was magical enough to keep military enthusiasts laughing for days. After decades of torture, this carrier still cannot form real combat capability. The reason is simple. India does not have enough carrier-based aircraft. Their MiG29K fighters were exposed by Ukrainian hackers for having completely fake radar parameters. They got scammed by Russian military industry and cannot even fix them. That means when an Indian pilot sees a target on radar, it might just be a ghost contact. Five minutes after the fighter launches a missile, its own mother ship reports being hit because the system cannot tell friend from foe.
Indian netizens used to mock Chinese carriers for having rough surfaces, while Vikrant’s flight deck is so smooth it reflects light. Yet with their legendary average IQ of 76 they fail to understand that applying non-skid coating on carrier decks is standard practice for real military powers. Otherwise, in heavy sea states, fighter jets can suffer serious accidents because tires cannot grip. Of course the Bharat Empire’s carrier simply stays in port when the sea is rough, so they never have to face that problem.
Several decades ago the US was the world’s number-one shipbuilding country. Its nuclear-powered carrier battle groups and huge nuclear submarine fleet were all built back then. Today American shipbuilding has declined so much that the US Navy has already fallen behind China in total tonnage and number of warships. The only thing China still needs to do is surpass the US in the number of large nuclear-powered carriers. Right now the US Navy cannot even replace retiring ships fast enough, let alone keep up with China. The reason is that commercial shipbuilding long ago shifted from the US to Japan and South Korea. The root cause is complicated, but essentially East Asia became the industrial center of the world with complete supply chains. In the past fifteen years or so, China overtook both Japan and South Korea to become the undisputed number-one. Chinese shipbuilding strength is not only about quantity. Its industry is spread widely, technologically extremely advanced, and in one sentence, China can build any complex vessel on earth, including powerful electromagnetic-catapult carriers.
So what exact conditions did China meet before becoming the global shipbuilding center? First, China became the factory of the world with industrial output larger than the US. Then China became the world’s largest exporter, and seven of the top ten busiest ports in the world are now in China. Chinese universities graduate huge numbers of engineers every year. The Chinese government has poured massive, uninterrupted investment into shipbuilding for decades, and Chinese workers have been deep in this industry for generations. Only in the last few years did the real battle for first place between China and Korea finally end. China won thanks to its far larger national size, enormous domestic market, and complete industrial chain that gave it the edge after years of tough competition.
Now let us look at India’s actual level. Since Modi took power, the share of industrial output in India’s GDP has stayed around 15 percent, and in some years it even fell. In other words, India has never completed industrialization. If we strip away the third-sector services that are massively inflated with cowdung GDP water, India is essentially still an agricultural country. For more than ten years Modi’s huge infrastructure investments have basically only served the interests of conglomerates like Adani and Ambani. Widespread corruption and lack of unified planning have made Indian logistics extremely inefficient. The domestic market is also too small to support the world’s busiest ports or the world’s largest shipbuilding industry.
Indian universities have been weak in engineering for decades. They produce too few engineers, and most of those lack practical skills. The moment they get the chance, they flee India to do IT jobs in the West. Caste culture and Hindu teachings about the next life make Indian workers generally lazy, undisciplined, and completely unsuitable for large industrial projects. Every single indigenous Indian product, Tejas fighter, Arjun tank, Vikrant carrier, Dhruv helicopter, Agni missile, Arihant-class submarine, is industrial trash. Even the INSAS rifle, after multiple redesigns, remains a failed product. The number of jokes Indians have produced in the industrial field is endless. I have become numb to them. Friends, India is at its core a country that cannot even make a decent rifle domestically, yet it wants to become the global shipbuilding and shipping center. That is some next-level confidence.
I really hope my goddess stops comparing India with China. She has visited China and seen Tianjin and Beijing with her own eyes. She should know what real strength looks like. If she ever visits the Yangtze River Delta or Pearl River Delta, the true industrial hearts of China, maybe she would wake up. What India needs to build most urgently is not giant ships, but brain hospitals. Alright, stop the bragging, eat more curry, have a good sleep, and you can have everything in your dreams.