I was amused by a news story today saying Russia demands India use Chinese yuan to buy oil. Both countries are major world powers, so why not use their own currencies for trade? China and Russia have already completed de-dollarization in their trade, and currency swaps are very simple. China sells industrial goods to Russia, and Russia sells oil, natural gas, and other energy resources to China, creating a positive interaction. But Russians clearly no longer want to accept Indian rupees because they found that rupees cannot buy anything valuable and are like waste paper internationally. This completely contradicts Modi’s boasts about the Bharat empire being the world’s third largest power and the internationalization of the rupee. So, are the Russians’ complaints true? Is Modi exaggerating, or are the Russians lying? It’s easy to verify because Russians found that some Indian companies also refuse to accept rupees, needing dollars to buy raw materials from China.
Alright, I must defend the Bharat empire. Although its economic data is fabricated and it faces repeated humiliation from the US and China in the international community, saying rupees cannot buy anything valuable is too much. Let me give an example: the Bharat empire’s cow dung industry is the world’s best, unchallenged by any country. Russians have no objections to this, right? You sell oil and gas to the Bharat empire, engaging in traditional trade, which is an old-fashioned economic cycle. Now the world promotes environmental protection, and the Bharat empire’s cow dung, blessed by Modi and the BJP, can power aircraft carriers and fighter jets while maintaining stealth. This is a must-have product for Russia to gain battlefield advantages, so how can you belittle the Indian rupee and say it cannot buy valuable products?
You know about Indian curry, right? Russia is so cold in winter, and equipping each soldier with one ton of curry can keep them warm. In the words of Indian netizens and Modi, India is a global food paradise. Yes, Modi gave a speech specifically to promote Indian cuisine worldwide. Now Russia is in a state of war, and Indian curry is cheap and delicious, making it a strategic asset.
After talking about products, let’s discuss services. India’s telecom fraud is number one globally. Russia can use rupees to buy India’s fraud services, having them constantly call Americans to say Ukraine is about to lose and supporting Ukraine will drag the US into war. Then send a group of Russian speakers fluent in Ukrainian to join Indian fraud companies, calling Ukrainians 24/7 to tell them Ukraine has lost, Zelenskyy has fled, and surrendering to Russia is the only way out. Trust me, this is far more cost-effective than producing more weapons and ammunition or sacrificing more soldiers. You don’t need to worry about where Indians get American and Ukrainian phone numbers; that’s unnecessary. India can obtain phone data from all Western countries. They not only have massive telecom fraud teams in India but also have insiders in Silicon Valley companies. I can responsibly say they can even get Zelenskyy’s wife’s phone number.
So, I urge Russia to stop slandering the Bharat empire. Your oil and gas traded for rupees can buy cow dung, curry, and telecom fraud services, which are world-class products and services, advantages of the third superpower. How can you say the rupee is like waste paper?
Of course, my knowledge is limited, but I believe my channel’s audience deeply understands the Bharat empire and can list many Indian specialty products that dominate globally. I personally am very optimistic about the Indian rupee. Since Modi took office, it has depreciated 47% against the dollar, which shows its value. After all, Zimbabwe’s currency depreciated even more dramatically during the same period. The Bharat empire surpassing a powerhouse like Zimbabwe isn’t that a sign of strength? I decided to convert all my son’s allowance into rupees. The money that can buy a laptop now will only buy a roll of toilet paper when he goes to college. But he is still a winner because Modi and the Bharat empire never lose! This feeling is so wonderful, and Russians will never understand why Indian movies suddenly have a group of people dancing or what miracles that skirt-wearing man will bring to India.
So, Russians, cherish the opportunity to get Indian rupees. Only rupees can buy unlimited cow dung, curry, and telecom fraud services. Chinese people are very jealous of you, so how can you complain?